Joy vs. happiness
We will have hard days, weeks and maybe even months or years, that are lined with treachery and challenge. Life is hard, and at times it’s likely to feel unfair. But oh – how more beautiful does that make the miracles, the day when the dreams we’ve been so faithfully sowing into are complete?
We’ve had another few tough weeks. After weeks of hormone treatment and injections we got the green light to head down to London where our next frozen embryo transfer would take place. This time we decided to make a fun few days out of it. We booked a hotel near St.Pauls Cathedral, we ate at some of our favourite spots, and we rested in each others company. The transfer was flawless but the week and a half that followed was the hardest yet and the wait began. It’s a funny feeling that after all of the scans to check that my body was ready, now we had nothing but our faith to stand on. We felt a great sense of peace over those days to follow and had full confidence that this would be our joyous time. On day 10 after going for a blood test we unfortunately found out that it’s come up negative, again.
Unsuccessful. Hard news. Tough, really tough, and oh the floods of emotion. We’ve had moments of asking “why us” and times of wondering if we’re actually supposed to ever hold the title of Mom and Dad. We’ve allowed our thoughts to run wild, our emotions to run free, and then we stopped. We prayed to our source of joy and remembered who sustains us.
Having joy while we’re walking through a trying time seems so against the world’s standards, I get it. But our source of joy is constant, so our inward joy cannot be shaken. We may be upset, angry, disheartened, or confused but we can still have inward joy.
Joy is constant and based on a faith filled decision, happiness is fleeting. Joy is a deep sense of hope, happiness is based on emotions that any given moment brings. My source of joy is eternal, happiness is circumstantial. Joy is an inward peace, happiness is an outward reflection. Joy is lasting, happiness is temporary. Joy gives us the power to go again.
Lets be clear, it’s not wrong to want to live a happy and joyful life, but when the hard news comes the joy is what will carry us through and help us to see outside of the current situation.
We’re believing that we will still see our little miracle come to pass. We’re holding on to the love of Christ to sustain us on this journey. We’re going to continue to be vulnerable with each of you and share our journey because that’s what encourages others and hopefully it will encourage one of you today. Although it’s not the news we hoped for we know that in time we will see our blessing come to pass.
Today my prayer is that in whatever circumstance you’re facing you will be able to hold onto joy. That you’ll be able to taste the goodness that’s around you. That you’ll lean on the source of joy to fill you up and carry you through.
Read the links below to follow our journey…
Green light day | Decision of PGD | The process | When things don’t go as planned | Autopilot