24th November 2015

When things don’t go as planned

Everyone has experienced disappointment, a time when something hasn’t gone as you dreamt it or planned. Sometimes disappointment creeps in through a series of events or sometimes, like in this case, it shows up in one quick phone call .

If you’re a regular reader of The Brew it is likely you’ll have read about our journey through the long and rigorous process of PGD. Although on this space we love to post fancy-schmancy pictures of the latest and greatest fashion, travel guides to some of the worlds most gorgeous places and other fun + uplifting inspirational pieces – it’s also a place for authenticity. Real beauty, after all, stretches well beyond the realms of the perfect outfit mixology or carefully selected decor.  We believe that a story shared is a powerful tool and can be the very thing that’s used to encourage someone else, so it was obvious that as the creator behind this space I needed to share mine. So far I’ve documented the “green light day“, the decision of PGD, and the first steps of the process – all time-consuming aspects but none that had any real disappointment or road blocks… until now.

Today I write with a slight heavy heart to share that unfortunately the first attempt at embryo transfer ended in a negative pregnancy. This step started with another round of injections lasting four weeks, then adding in two additional hormones for another five weeks. After heading back and forth to the clinic every few weeks to check progress we were then given the okay to proceed to frozen embryo transfer day. Excitement and anxiousness was at an all time high, the moment we had prayed about for three years was finally here. The procedure took place in London and all went great. Then we faced the hardest part of the process yet, the week-and-a-half wait began. I had full faith and belief that I was pregnant, there was little doubt that it could be anything other than positive. On the day of testing I had to go in for blood work and then wait to ring a few hours later to discuss the result. The entire morning S and I spent trying to pass the time by heading for lunch and doing a little shopping, nothing really worked and all we could think about was the phone call. A few hours, and what seemed like an eternity later, we received the news that it was a negative result. In that moment my world felt shaken and my faith felt rocked. We let the emotions fully set in, we cried big alligator tears, we rested and then cried some more. Numb was the consensus. Although we were disappointed and still upset, we continued to feel an underlying peace. We completely believe that God’s timing is everything and this just wasn’t it. We fully acknowledge that there’s a reason for everything. Sometimes we don’t know how or why but we know there’s a higher plan and bigger picture.

nyc photoshoot

Do I wish that this journey was easier? Certainly. I don’t wish this disappointment on anyone. However, we both feel that if we have to go through a tough season then it’s to grow us and also to equip us to be able to encourage + relate to someone facing something similar.

Let today’s motivational takeaway be this:

A circumstance that once looked like failure or disappointment could soon be the very thing that sparks a new season (click to tweet). It’s moments when things seem uncertain that lead us to growth, strengthen our resilience, and make way for the perfect timing to enter in. Often in times like these it makes way for a more perfect plan than we could have ever imagined to take place and a new season to flourish.

A dramatic event isn’t the final verdict, it’s actually the start of something better. Just like a strawberry gains more sweetness after a cold hard freeze, so does a sweeter season birth out of a numbing or disappointing hour (click to tweet).

  • I’m so sorry to hear about this. I have a best friend who is also in what we call the “waiting period” to have a baby and I know how difficult it can be. Sending lots of love your way- God has such a great plan even if we can’t see it yet!

    PS- You may want to check out Bloom the Blog- she too is a waiting mamma and has such sweet encouragement!

  • I’m so sorry and know the disappointment you are feeling. My heart hurts for you both. Take the time to mourn and know that better days are ahead. I know He has plans for you that exceed your own dreams.

    The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter Psalm 30:5 MSG

    xx

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