22nd April 2014

Stay at home wife

across the pond

Hello , hello – your bloggy twinnies are back with the latest installment of the ‘Across the Pond’ series SAHW style. Β We’re talking all about the beauty and definition of our little lives as part time stay-at-home-wifeys.You can read what Elise has to say about everything down below! Then head to her blog, Cheers Y’all,Β to read my responses to the same Q&A


What made you decide toΒ be a SAHW?

Last summer, my hubby, Mark, and I made the decision to move from my hometown of Charlotte, NC, to the beach. While living in Charlotte, I taught elementary school for four years. Long story short…we decided–together–to make big life changes for ourselves: move, change jobs (both of us), and align our family more closely with God’s design and order.

What does your typical day consist of?

I cannot tell you how much I treasure my day-to-day with this new lifestyle. I work as a nanny from 12-5:30 everyday, so I use my mornings to be in Scripture, blog, work out, grocery shop, run any errands, meal plan, clean, do laundry, etc. That time has been such a huge blessing because when Mark comes home from work each night, I [happily!] have dinner ready, and then we have quality time to spend together sans distractions or to-dos!

Recently, I’ve also been able to manage everything that’s going on with our new home. Mark has expressed how appreciative he is that I am able to pop over to the new house frequently to make sure everyone is on task and getting things done the way we want them done! I’m the one going to Lowes, Home Depot, shopping around for the best prices, getting quotes, making phone calls, meeting with this person and that person, etc. I LOVE am able to do these things that serve our family! Teachers can’t sit at their desks and do these sorts of tasks, so being able to do all of those things is truly a gift to me!

Joy of joblessness?

Such joy. So much joy. I am thankful to work part time as a nanny too because I really can’t imagine my day to day without kiddos involved.

I must note though–I’ve always been the girl who wanted to me a mama. I’ve never been career-driven, which is often a looked down upon thing to say in or society today. When I became at teacher, I knew it wasn’t a career for me. I chose to teach because I knew it would prepare my heart and skills as a mommy one day. I’m telling y’all that not because I think it makes me a special/better/worse person than anyone else. It’s just me. It’s my story. And it’s why ease and joy of joblessness come more naturally to me.

Challenges?Β 

What matters most is doing what’s right for my family despite what the world thinks. And dare I say that my heart, my marriage, and my home are thriving much more abundantly with my new part-time SAHW role. And for that I couldn’t be more thankful.

Wifely duties?

When Mark and I decided that I would leave teaching to nanny and stay at home more, we agreed that my new “job” would be “our home.” The household chores were much more 50/50 when we both worked. Now I’m in charge of everything home related from bills to laundry to cooking to shopping and everything in between. (Well, everything except taxes. Mark is a lot better at those.)

About a year ago, I read through an incredible book called Femenine Appeal: 7 Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother (highly recommend it!!) with several other wives. Throughout the book, we unpacked Titus 2:3-5, and I learned that God really did create us to be managers and keepers of our homes. I treasure being able to live that out with more fullness than I could before. It has been the biggest gift to our little family!

How do you two make it work without working?

We know our end goal is to live on one salary (Mark’s) once we have kids, so we try to live that way now. What makes it easier is that Mark and I are both frugal by nature. We aren’t big shoppers or spenders.

Here’s the big “secret” (that’s not really a secret): we live within our means. We bought our first home! It “only” has two bedrooms…but that alone is more than enough space for us right now!! We share finances 100%. If we buy a luxury item (clothes, an XBox game, home decor, etc), we let each other know about it. Generally speaking, as the grocery shopper in our family, I don’t buy anything that’s not on sale/special. Literally the only place I shop full price is Trader Joe’s. Truth. I can’t say I don’t have time to scour the stores for the best deals in town!


Across the Pond Series Index

1. Across the Pond

2. Part Time SAHW (…that’s what you’re reading right now!)

  • Love Elise and her sweet heart! And love that she and Mark are making decisions for their family based on God’s will. Nothing to apologize for there!

  • Like I said on Cheers Y’all, thanks so much for your transparency!!! I won’t re type the same comment but let’s just say I would retype the same thing here πŸ˜‰

  • I love that you’re still able to have a part time job & part time SAH! Living within your means is SO important and there’s so many people that don’t, it’s kind of sad.

  • Ahhh love this…my sweet sissy πŸ™‚ And love how y’all truly are twins, so fun!!!

  • Love both posts girls, I think it’s awesome you’re able to do this!! Working part time and staying home part time would be amazing πŸ™‚

  • Elise, I love this post! I enjoy my job, but it’s definitely not a “career,” so I can totally relate to you on this (surprise, surprise, something else we have in commone! πŸ™‚ ) Taking care of the home is more than a full time job and a lot of times I wish I had more “free” time (i.e. not at work) to be able to do the household things that need to be done, that there just isn’t time for.

  • Love this little series that yall are doing!!

  • Tara, [I responded to Elise on her blog, and you on yours, but now I’m thinking maybe I should have just done it the other way around . . . haha, oh well :)]
    Don’t you worry about the pressure society puts on women to have careers. It’s always better to follow your heart, because your heart will lead you to happiness πŸ™‚ I think it’s awesome that you’re a SAHW/Future M, because the greatest work that ever happens in the world happens in the home. So I think both you and Elise are great for living your lives that way πŸ™‚

    ashleynicoleholmes.blogspot.com

  • Hey Tara I found you on Elise’s blog today. I am a SAHW as well. But for me it is full time. I am running our business as well and will have a baby in July. But I understand completely about feeling like people ask what do you do all day! Such encouraging words to read your two posts. Thank you πŸ™‚ I am a blogger as well and blog about marriage and family so check me out!

  • Hey girl, just to let you know even when you are a SAHM people still ask what you do all day, that doesn’t change. I love being at home & being able to see our sweet babe’s grow up. Our household is busy & sometimes chaotic, I’d love my home décor to be fresh & on trend. But sometimes you have to take the rough with the smooth & since my son painted by sofa with orange nail varnish I am not allowed any new furniture until the sweet kids are older, sheesh! Anyway, love your sweet blog you seem to have a lovely sunny nature & I love forward to reading your posts. Now following on Bloglovin & Twitter, please feel free to say hi. Lizzie UK

  • Hi, Tara! I love that you and Elise are doing this series!! I’m officially your newest follower via GFC, because any BFF of Elise is a friend of mine! πŸ˜‰ I can relate to every lit’l bit of Elise’s answers!!! I enjoyed getting to know you through your answers at her fabulous blog too! Looking forward to enjoying your posts!! (: xo

  • I love reading both these posts! I give you both props to working part time and doing whats best for you and your family! I know society is different these days but I believe that being a SAHM and SAHW are equally important (if not more) than a career driven woman! It’s a lot of work being the care taker of the home and family! πŸ™‚

  • I’m a new SAHW too! Love it!! We live within our means, and I LOVE being frugal. Always have been.